Posts tagged disme
- [guy] is "the grey" a good movie?
- [girl] no
- [girl] I hoped it was gonna be good but then it's just fucking liam neeson being tall in the snow and whispering/screaming at wolves with his irish accent
I just save lost presents as future birthday gifts.
:( the worst thing is when you go like “oh hey I got a present for you but i’ll give it to u later when we’re sitting down” and then you forget about it and your friend is too polite to remind u and then your friend leaves town and u dont see her again for ages and u still have the present in your possession :( suuuuuucks
I just screamed like a ridiculous Hollywood thriller bimbo from the 60s because I thought I saw a mouse… was my own shadow of course…
No, I do not hate myself right now. I don’t hate my body. I don’t have high blood pressure, or diabetes. I am not ill because I am overweight. I don’t feel like I have a skinnier person inside of me. I don’t feel like I spiralled out of control over the years. I don’t feel like being overweight means being out of control, or wrong, or evil. I don’t feel like being fat makes a person less attractive, ugly, stupid, lazy or unhealthy. There have been times before (when I was younger) when I believed these stereotypes were accurate; and when I felt personally attacked by people who were rude to me because of my weight. But, and without trying to sound cocky, I’m a fairly intelligent person and reached my own conclusions on the matter as I grew up, which is why I haven’t believed in the bullshit for a long time.
The reason I decided to change my lifestyle, is simple: I spend most of my days as a recluse in my flat and don’t even go out for a walk, which means my personal fitness has suffered, because I like it here. I like my flat, I like comfort. What is wrong with this? Inherently, nothing, every person has the right to live however they like. I just don’t want to live that way. It stopped being comfortable, it began feeling like a long-ass Sunday. When I was a little girl I was always playing outside in the sun, in-line skating, doing sports. As much as I like comfort, I also like exercise. I’ve always liked it. My ADHD means I can’t easily choose where to focus my energies, I am constantly looking for stimulation, whether it be mental or physical. I am intolerant to boredom. I am rarely bored, since I always have something to hyperfocus on, I like to draw, paint, craft, play video games do research, read, cook, etc. I’m 30 years old now, I don’t feel like an insecure teenager who wants to get fit or lose weight to ‘impress the boys’ or to ‘show them bullies’ although I do have some insecurities, and some of them are obviously influenced by social standards about beauty and weight, insecurities aren’t that important to me. I feel it’s more important to overcome insecurities and to stay true to yourself. Which is why I work out, I used to be very active as a child, and I was a very happy and honest child. I am a very happy and honest adult, I am just missing that part of me, the exercise, the sports. I tried to deny it for a long time, to be different from my family, because I always felt like the odd one out, because of my interest in art, but maybe I’m not as different as I thought, so I confess: I LIKE SPORTS AND FITNESS. I like to play football with my family from time to time, or to dance on stage, and to have good physical condition. I’m sure my Dad, in dad heaven is cackling right now thinking “I knew it you spaz”, to which I respond with a smile.
So, the goal isn’t really weight loss though I wouldn’t really mind it, it’s not like I’m obsessed or obliged to being fat, I just never thought my size mattered, and I still don’t think it does and the diet change, is not really a ‘DIET CHANGE’ it’s just, I have proved to myself, that personally I can’t perform as well in sports and exercise as others when I’m drinking too much coca-cola or processed stuff. And I was kind of addicted to it, so I’d rather just stick to coffee and water and I don’t mind fruit juices and other things. So it’s not really a big change and I’m not restricting myself, I’ll still have crisps and cake when necessary (parties, etc) I’m just sticking to what works for me and my body to keep me fuelled while I work out. Also, MUSCLES.
I will blog about this topic from time to time, so if this bothers you or triggers you or offends you please feel free to unfollow me, but please keep in mind that I don’t mean any offence or harm.